Today (well, Tuesday), when I woke up (around 2pm-something; I went to bed stupidly late), as I was lying there, listening to silly stand-up, I asked myself my regular post-waking half-conscious question, "Why get up?"

The usual answer is a sort of impression-based version of, Can't think of anything worth leaving this bed... Let's roll over and ( Read more... )

One of the hardest, HARDEST things to do in the midst of depression is to drag meaning out of the experience.

Not necessarily the fact of the depression itself, which is an unknowable chemical reaction, but the thoughts and feelings experienced and the reaction to the event known as depression.
( A bunch of mental wankery follows. )

I hate my brain chemicals SO HARD right now. But I am resisting the urge to mock my brain ( Read more... )

Note to my future self ( Read more... )

There was a part of me that hoped that, with therapy and anti-depressants, I wouldn't be depressed any more ( Read more... )